-
Grandfather birds
Read More: Grandfather birdsMy grandfathers are birds. It’s been more than a decade now since my dad’s dad died. At his funeral we stood out at his gravesite on a spring day in April. The fields around the cemetery were still brown from winter, but the grass and the trees around us were beginning to bud and green.…
-
Jet Trails
Read More: Jet TrailsThe wind blew today. People swept in through the door looking frazzled by it. They hesitated to make plans, avoided the trails, declared it a bad day to go watch the cranes. Oddly, I welcomed it. The wind twirled and tangled my hair, pulled at me. Made me want to walk down the river in…
-
this one small life
Read More: this one small lifeIf there’s one thing I know for sure it’s that I don’t know anything. Sometimes that looks or feels like a failing. I should know something by now, right? My compass should at least have found one north star to point toward. Some measure of “truth” should be rising to the surface after simmering for…
-
Control
Read More: ControlThe weather is a roller coaster. One day it is freezing, the next normal for March, then 95 degrees. Then the cycle starts again. The cranes arrived what felt early and now every day with a south wind carries more of them away. There is still a week left in our “season” of tours and…
-
November 15th
Read More: November 15thNovember 15th, 2024 was a Friday. L and I drove to Omaha for an appointment with the surgeon who would help unblock her parotid gland that had been swollen for months. When he came into the room to meet with us, he let us know immediately that there would not be a surgery because it…
-
The Ritual
Read More: The RitualMost of my favorite rituals happen in the fall. Some I can explain, like bringing the plants inside and stacking firewood. Some I can’t really justify – like hanging a bundle of sage and lavender from my south windows. One of my dearest fall rituals is winterizing the camper. Almost eight years ago my friends…
-
Buy the Plane Ticket
Read More: Buy the Plane TicketThe future is uncertain. It actually always is. Life can change at any moment. But normally (whatever that means) I can make plans and not give it a second thought. Maybe I think for a second, “What if the kids get sick?” Or some other realistic possibility. What if the dog has another seizure, what…
-
The moment
Read More: The momentI think a lot about the moment that cancer cells first start growing. What happens in that moment, where one minute there is nothing and the next there is something? How does it happen that in the span of a moment my fourteen year old is healthy and life is normal and then suddenly it…
-
What did you expect?
Read More: What did you expect?In March and April my daughter had 33 proton beam radiation treatments to the tumors in her face and neck at Mayo Clinic in Rochester. Those were some of the hardest months we went through on this cancer journey so far. Mostly, it was the chemo side effects that made it hard during that time,…
-
Scanxiety
Read More: ScanxietyI meant to make a post about September being Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month. And now it’s almost over. I meant to do a lot of things. But life feels a lot like hanging onto a speeding vehicle for dear life right now. It’s been almost a year since her diagnosis and it just now occurs…
-
The Year of the Monarch
Read More: The Year of the MonarchIt has been a banner year for Monarchs (at least from my standpoint). I’m going to be honest: I only recently learned how incredible monarchs are. I love cranes and I work in conservation relating to cranes, so I’m no stranger to amazing migrations. But monarchs are a whole different animal. It takes four generations…
-
The Marathon
Read More: The MarathonFourteen chemo cycles is an aggressive treatment plan. Especially with chemo drugs that are classified as “high risk”. When we started back in December it felt like we were looking at a mountain in front of us we had to climb. It didn’t feel possible. But the only way out is through. So we took…
-
Endings, Beginnings, Changes
Read More: Endings, Beginnings, ChangesI’m a streaker. Not like that. It’s a trend in running where you see how many days in a row you can run at least one mile. I started on Thanksgiving 2019 with the goal of “streaking” until Christmas. I made it. And then just never stopped. As of this morning I have been streaking…
-
Homecoming
Read More: HomecomingThis one hurt a little. This morning the memory from one year ago that popped up on my Facebook feed showed L in her freshman homecoming dress. One year ago my girl went to her first homecoming dance with her friends and danced until her feet hurt and she had to carry her shoes home.…
-
Hello World!
Read More: Hello World!I have debated for a long time whether or not to start blogging again. Looks like I’m doing it.
-
Hospital mornings
Read More: Hospital morningsIt’s Friday, August 29th (2025). We have been here since Wednesday. L is still asleep and I’m in the midst of my usual hospital morning routine. Once the light starts to change outside I wait until she gets up to go to the bathroom. She’s on a steady stream of fluids, so usually every few…
A Thing with Feathers 